I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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