She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
