I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
