A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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