He is an equal opportunity slut.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
