Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
