I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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