I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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