Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
