The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
