highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
