my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
