Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if only i could text you this smell
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize