I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
