Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
