I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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