the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize