Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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