Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
