3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
