I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They took my balls.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
