dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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