thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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