Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
