i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
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I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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