Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
