I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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