shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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