do herpes really smell.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
