YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
