i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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