Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
