so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
