i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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