You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
