we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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