Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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