so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
