Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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