I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
