I didn't shave. On purpose
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
