I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
