Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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