thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
