I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
