Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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