Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
