Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
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My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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