Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
