I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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