it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
