Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
