You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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