Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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