OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
