Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize