Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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