I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
