I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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