How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She's not a foreskin expert like you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
