it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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