The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
