Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
